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Excerpts from Living Values Activities Books and
Humility Ideas at Home for Parents of

• With the balance of self-respect and humility there is an acceptance and appreciation of one?s qualities from the inside.
• Humility creates an open mind and recognition of the strengths of the self and others.
• Humility as a value ? at its highest ? allows selflessness and dignity in working for a better world.

Think about a time in your life when humility and self-respect made a difference. Perhaps it was watching someone else, perhaps it was something you experienced. Write a personal journal entry on this topic.


Core Activity: Humility is my Friend

In the world today, young adults ? and even older persons ? often have problems handling fame. This can occur in everyday situations, such as popularity as an athlete or another role in school. Some have shared that they felt the image of who they were was so important that it felt as though nobody knew them anymore. There have been tragic examples of young actors committing suicide because of this. Others have enjoyed brief periods of fame but then felt devastated when the fame disappeared.

Discuss with each other:

• Why do you think some people want fame?
• Once they get it, what are the advantages?
• What are the dangers of fame?
• What are the disadvantages?
• What do you think one gets attached to with fame?

Think about the following Reflection Points:

• The tendency to impress, dominate or limit the freedom of others in order to prove yourself diminishes the inner experience of worth, dignity and peace of mind.
• Pride goes before a fall.

Note: Some young adults have noticed that people are initially stable emotionally but, when they get attracted by the attention they receive, they start to change. It is as though they lose touch with the self and are always looking to others or external things for validation. They become dependent on that to feel good. When that outside attention is not there, the person can experience an immense let-down.

Discuss:

• What kinds of things would help a person stay content during times of fame and its disappearance? 
  (Generate strategies, such as having a few close friends who really know you or basing your self-esteem on your inner qualities.)

Homework: Do something kind for someone every day for one week ? with the feeling of wanting to do it without needing recognition.


Core Activity: ?Humble? Tasks

Most of us have to do tasks that are ?humble.? How can people enjoy these tasks and still feel full of dignity? How can we maintain self-respect and experience dignity with the value of humility rather than feeling ?humbled?? A couple of thoughts on this:

• We all play different roles at different times in our life. We play different roles with different people even within a day.
• Everyone?s cooperation is essential for successful completion of a task. Each role is important.

Discuss:

• Do you ever feel ?bad? or ?not good about yourself? when you do ordinary or menial tasks? Why or why not?
• What thoughts or attitudes allow you to feel good and valued?
• Do you ever evaluate the task you have completed in terms of:
  • The value or quality with which you did it?
  • The interpersonal qualities you experienced?
  • The value you were demonstrating?
• When you evaluate things by any one of the above criteria do you think your self-respect would stay stable or increase?
• Can you think of any other value-based criteria on which to evaluate any task?

Some people have an attitude about people who have lower paying jobs. It seems they have somehow decided or been taught that they are better than the other person. There is a story about a professor who included in one of his exams at a university a question on the name of the cleaner who serviced the classroom. One of the students asked if this was a joke. The professor said ?no.? He continued, saying that this was a real question important to real life; it is important to know and respect the people that work with you.

Make a list of the values and qualities you think are important in doing any job.


Core Activity: Listening

Sometimes one starts feeling badly inside when someone is talking about what wonderful things he or she did. Has that ever happened to any of you? Sometimes it is difficult to listen to so many wonderful things because we start to compare ourselves inside. Sometimes it is just that the other person is getting all the attention and we want some attention too. So today, we are going to practise another skill, and this is how to stay in self-respect when listening to others. Humility is a big help in this.

Discuss:

• A humble person can stay happy inside while listening to others.
• With humility I can recognize my own strengths and the strengths of others.
• Humility creates an open mind.

Think of three things of which you are proud and share those three things in a group of four people. The three listeners are to practise feeling the balance of self-respect and humility. After the speaker?s comments, they are to offer positive remarks, confirming those qualities the speaker may have mentioned or adding other qualities they notice in that individual.

Next, everyone in the small group takes a turn telling a story. Each one of the listeners is to listen carefully, repeating the part of the story she or he liked best when the storyteller is finished. Or she or he can make a positive comment, such as "Yes, it's great that you did that!"

Discuss whether it was hard to resist trying to top the story. Is the tendency to want to ?top a story? a form of trying to be better than someone else? Confidence and humility together allow you to feel good inside and enjoy the other person?s qualities also.