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Excerpts from Living Values Activities Books and
Respect Ideas at Home for Parents of
 

• The first respect is to respect myself -- to know that I am naturally valuable.
• Part of self-respect is knowing my own qualities.
• Respect is knowing I am unique and valuable.
• Respect is knowing I am lovable and capable.
• Respect is knowing others are valuable, too.
• Those who give respect will receive respect.
• To know one's worth and to honor the worth of others is how one earns respect.

Qualities Activity

One of the great things about humans is that each has a personality of his or her own. Each person comes with a unique combination of qualities. Think about the positive qualities people can have. Talk about:

• What qualities do you admire in your friends?
• Think about someone you admire. What qualities do you admire in that person?
• Think about your heroes. What qualities does he/she have that you like?

It is said that any quality you admire is really yours.


Brainstorm together personal qualities, such as friendly, loyal, sweet, kind, compassionate, creative, gentle, witty, cooperative, confident, humble, loyal, trustworthy, industrious, benevolent, diligent, artistic, generous, economical, sensible, sweet, loving, caring, patient and tolerant. Keep the list of qualities you create together.

Ask each person to name five or more qualities they know they have. Help each other as needed.

Then ask everyone to write down a few times when they felt really good about him or herself. "Just write one line to remind yourself of that time. (Give them several minutes to do this.) Now, I want you to think of the quality that you showed you had on each one of those times. (Give them several more minutes.) Give a few examples if they need it, such as: "If you remember a time when you helped someone, you might put down loving, caring, or compassionate. If you remember a time you returned something to someone who lost it, you might put honest."

Instruct them to add those qualities to their list of qualities.


8- to 9-year-old Activity: Instruct them to draw a picture of a time they felt full of respect. They can add their qualities to the picture, writing, "I am ____.


10- to 14-year-old Activity: Keep a log for a week, writing down when you experienced one of your qualities, or when you say one in someone else. Share it with each other.


Enjoy a Respect Relaxation Exercise 
Sit comfortably and let your body relax . . . As you breathe slowly, let your mind be still and calm . . . Starting at your feet, let yourself relax . . . Relax the legs . . . the stomach . . . the shoulders . . . the neck . . . the face . . . the nose . . . the eyes . . . and the forehead . . . The mind is serene and calm . . . Breathe deeply . . . Concentrate on stillness. . . In your mind, picture a flower . . . Imagine the smell . . . Enjoy its fragrance . . . Observe its shape and color . . . Enjoy its beauty . . . Each person is like a flower . . . Each one of us is unique . . . yet we have many things in common . . . Picture a garden around you with many varieties of flowers . . . all of them beautiful . . . Each flower with its color . . . each flower with its fragrance. . . giving the best of itself . . . Some are tall with pointed petals, some with rounded petals, some are big and others little . . . Some have many hues of colors . . . Some attract the eye because of their simplicity . . . Each one of us is like a beautiful flower . . . Enjoy the beauty of each one . . .Each adds beauty to the garden . . . All are important . . . Together they form the garden . . . Each flower has respect for itself . . . When one respects the self, it is then easy to respect others . . . Each one is valuable and unique . . . With respect, the qualities of others are seen. . . Perceive what is good in each one . . . Each has a unique role. . . Each is important . . . Let this image fade in your mind, and turn your attention to this room again.


Express Yourself Artistically

Make a mobile; draw and then decorate objects that represent an aspect of you. 

• Use specific praise with your children, positively affirming behaviors and qualities.
   
• Give your children full attention and listen to them at least a few minutes a day. That is one of the best ways for you to show respect and for them to feel valued.
   
• Share stories about self-respect. Afterward, find time to discuss with each child the qualities you see in him or her.
   
• Stay content when you help them with homework. If you start to get frustrated, leave for a few minutes and have a cup of tea. Detach. With your patience, they'll catch on a lot faster. Make only positive comments when they do homework. If they make an error, simply go over it with them once. Be interested in their questions. If you do not know the answer, help them investigate. Know the most important thing you are teaching is an attitude toward learning.
   
• If your child's attitude becomes disrespectful, find time to sit down for a chat. Let the child know you noticed his or her attitude, and you know when there is disrespect on the outside, it is often a reflection of disrespect on the inside. Ask what is happening, and listen. Affirm the child's good qualities and efforts at the end of the conversation.
   
• Give them hugs and positive remarks about what you treasure about them - for no reason at all! 
   
• Listen to your teenagers for one week without adding in your own view or reacting negatively. Practice. Discuss what happened as a result with your spouse or a friend.